LOS ANGELES, CA -- Last night, the Dixie Chicks captured five Grammy awards, including Song of the Year for their controversial single, Not Ready To Make Nice. However, in a bizarre turn of events, mere moments before the trio accepted their statuette, lead singer Natalie Maines was emphatically close-lined off the stage by rival Country Western superstar, Carrie Underwood. When the dust settled, Underwood stood victorious, brandishing the remains of Maine’s torn burqa in her left hand. A profound gasp escaped the Staples Center crowd, as a blinking IED was revealed to be strapped across Maines’ stomach. ‘I took a chance’ shouted a euphoric Underwood, who was ultimately borne away upon the shoulders her grateful audience. Due to her dazzling heroics, the former American Idol is slated to receive Nashville’s greatest honour: the Patriotic Lapel Pin to the City, sometime next week.
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