Dear Tony Robbins,
I have co-written a textbook for
your alma mater, Glendora High:
Go, fighting Tartans, would you
not agree, Mr. Robbins? Of course
you would. Anyhow, my textbook
is called So, You’ve Decided To
Touch Yourself. It’s been lovingly
reviewed on Amazon.ca, by none
other than the Mr. Sherman “By-
His-Own-Bootstraps” Helmsly.
He reviewed my new Glendora High
textbook as follows: “I was looking
for the young ficus plant which
is purportedly shaped like Issa;
you know the one which playfully
bows over the edge of it’s chipped,
earthenware pot in order to gaze
upon his own roots? Come to think
about it, I got very distracted
by this book. This book made me
forget all about the things that
I used to think were cool: TV,
microwaves, robotic vacuums.
In fact, this new book seemed to
get distracted by me, or at least,
it took me a little too seriously.
I think it neglected to concentrate
on it’s own sense of impending
Void.”
Sincerely,
Ryan
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