Dear, National Geographic
The Mouth Breathing Manatee
is one of the rarest forms of Manatee.
They are known to roam the fashionable
coastline of the United Arab Emirates.
These buoyant wonders live upon
a hearty diet of natural sea foam,
& lucky pennies tossed into the waters
by carefree, European paddle-boaters.
Aside from their colossal lung capacities,
they also possess a gift for choreography.
In short, they communicate through
the twin languages of faith & dance.
To our human senses, the actions of
these Mouth Breathing Manatees
appear to be just bankable enough to
generate Pixar lots of holiday revenue.
Therefore, I strongly urge you to hop
upon the Mouth Breathing Bandwagon
as soon as possible. That is, unless
you wish for your fine magazine
to soundlessly slip into documented
obscurity; you don’t want your fine
magazine to slip into documented
obscurity, do you?
Sincerely,
Ryan
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