The Odyssey at Wild Water Kingdom

I was locked out of my amphibious car.
My stepfathers had stolen my keys.

They hid them in Wild Water Kingdom.
My fellow water-sliders we no help.

I spoke to the hot girl of the ticket booth.
She sent me to The Old Man of the Sea.

He smelled like Old Spice of the neck.
My dad’s moustache was upon his face.

I asked him if he’d like to have a catch.
We played catch until high noon.

I tackled him beside the wave pool.
We counted every child upon the waves.

The Old Man turned into a Dasani bottle.
I hugged him harder, & he melted.

Every child in the wave pool transformed.
They became tiny, blue OnStar buttons.

I extended a single, menacing finger.
‘I’ll talk,’ cried The Old Man of the Sea.

‘Just do not press them,’ he pleaded.
‘They are too innocent to lead the way.’