Mr. Manatee Pants Gets Too Real

Mr. Manatee Pants walked into a shoe shop.
‘I want some ergonomic flip-flops,’ he declared.

‘Must they match you pants?’ asked the clerk.
‘Am I wearing pants?’ inquired Mr. Manatee Pants.

‘But of course,’ replied the clerk ‘they’re green.’
‘To match my eyes,’ interrupted Mr. Manatee Pants.

‘I know all of this already, you sassy clerk.’
‘But of course,’ blushed the clerk ‘I’m new here.’

‘Manager!’ bellowed Mr. Manatee Pants,
‘Give this clerk a raise, for he pleases me.’

Then Mr. Manatee Pants turned to leave.
‘But wait,’ cried the clerk, ‘you have no flip flops.’

‘Ha-ha ha,’ proclaimed Mr. Manatee Pants,
‘I fear your fine store has fallen prey to my ruse!’

‘There are no such things as ergonomic flip flops;
I only feigned ignorance about my pants;

& in fact, I used these aforementioned distractions
to shoplift many boots of Spanish leather.’

‘I’ve read all about your breed on Wikipedia,’
said the manager ‘truly, your ways, are noble ways.’