The Plugs

I wanted to call our band The Plugs,
but I was also open to Kids In The Dais.

‘Look, Darryl we voted on this already.
If we want anything Dais-related, it is

gonna be Kids Of The Dais, remember?’
I want to be a lumberjack, I shouted.

I was quickly curbed for my outburst;
I voluntarily dropped & gave my 20,

in triplets. ‘The Plugs sure do know
their chords!’ shrieked a muffled blurb.

Before we knew it, our unnamed band
was franticly exploring every crooked

crevasse of Scott’s semi-furnished
garage, all of us eager to identify the

source of our first glowing review.
After much name calling, which

resulted in a vote over the tour slogan
The Blowhard Explosion, we finally

discovered a malnourished SPIN
reporter, lodged behind Scott’s futon.

We nursed this little tyke back to health,
mainly upon a spoon-fed regimen of

Puritan beef gravy & long grain rice.
But before we knew it, our little reporter

could groom himself, eat solid foods,
& even use Arcade Fire as an adjective;

clearly it was time to set our boy free.
The very next rush hour, we walked

down to the nearest bus stop where,
together as a band, we tearfully stuffed

our pride & joy into the Green Bin.
Come see us; we’re The Good Parents.