Dear Ally,
In response to your query:
‘When you go to the zoo,
do you ever get confused as
to which side of the bars
you're on, & then end up
escaping into the Bat Cave
where the part-time staff
have to poke you with the
business end of a Swiffer
Wetjet until you come down
from the ceiling?’ No. But I
do get confused as to which
ice-creams-on-a-stick are
endangered, & which ice-
creams-on-a-stick are merely
threatened, so that I just
end up contributing so few
dollars to Canada’s Gross
National Product that I
begin to get oddly emotional
while standing beside the
dented sign that cautions
me not to feed the snow
leopards anything that has
been handled by a Polish
person, or may otherwise
contain any carbs.
Sincerely,
Ryan
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