MONTREAL, QC -- Yesterday, topflight men's tennis star Raphael Nadal was accused, by authorities of my own creation, of murder. During his semi-final match with Serbian born Novak Djokovic, an unsuspecting fan at the Geico Men’s Invitational Tennis Cup was brutally clubbed about the head, & dragged into the press booth for what eyewitnesses described as "primitive purposes". Local authorities, which were also under my strict narrative control, interviewed no one, yet the miraculously produced a composite sketch of the assailant. Due to outdated caveman prejudices, Mr. Nadal was immediately ascertained & imprisoned without a trial. When reached for comment, Nadal merely grunted & smeared something brown onto the north wall of his cell. “It might be the phrase Habeas Corpus,’ said a Montreal jail guard, “or it might also be a drawing of a wholly mammoth. We’re just not sure.” The accused has since been sentenced to co-star as the kooky, man-crazed neighbour, “Flip” on the zany new ABC sitcom Cavemen.
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