The Echolocation Liturgy

This poem shall appear
in a forthcoming
issue of
InDigest Magazine.

Hooray.

Tinlids Haiku #3

'You are what you love,'
spake the great Suggestion Box
'not what loves you back.'

Mr. Manatee Pants Gets Too Real

Mr. Manatee Pants walked into a shoe shop.
‘I want some ergonomic flip-flops,’ he declared.

‘Must they match you pants?’ asked the clerk.
‘Am I wearing pants?’ inquired Mr. Manatee Pants.

‘But of course,’ replied the clerk ‘they’re green.’
‘To match my eyes,’ interrupted Mr. Manatee Pants.

‘I know all of this already, you sassy clerk.’
‘But of course,’ blushed the clerk ‘I’m new here.’

‘Manager!’ bellowed Mr. Manatee Pants,
‘Give this clerk a raise, for he pleases me.’

Then Mr. Manatee Pants turned to leave.
‘But wait,’ cried the clerk, ‘you have no flip flops.’

‘Ha-ha ha,’ proclaimed Mr. Manatee Pants,
‘I fear your fine store has fallen prey to my ruse!’

‘There are no such things as ergonomic flip flops;
I only feigned ignorance about my pants;

& in fact, I used these aforementioned distractions
to shoplift many boots of Spanish leather.’

‘I’ve read all about your breed on Wikipedia,’
said the manager ‘truly, your ways, are noble ways.’

Tinlids Haiku #2

Data entry blues;

I hope we stock new eyeballs,

for mine have melted.

The Odyssey at Wild Water Kingdom

I was locked out of my amphibious car.
My stepfathers had stolen my keys.

They hid them in Wild Water Kingdom.
My fellow water-sliders we no help.

I spoke to the hot girl of the ticket booth.
She sent me to The Old Man of the Sea.

He smelled like Old Spice of the neck.
My dad’s moustache was upon his face.

I asked him if he’d like to have a catch.
We played catch until high noon.

I tackled him beside the wave pool.
We counted every child upon the waves.

The Old Man turned into a Dasani bottle.
I hugged him harder, & he melted.

Every child in the wave pool transformed.
They became tiny, blue OnStar buttons.

I extended a single, menacing finger.
‘I’ll talk,’ cried The Old Man of the Sea.

‘Just do not press them,’ he pleaded.
‘They are too innocent to lead the way.’

Tinlids Haiku #1

Crazy Book Lady

uses brown leaves for bookmarks;

Adam left this year.

The Ballad of a Teenage Cupcake (Act 5)

A cupcake unlocked a cellar door.
A fourth wall creid 'No!'

A cupcake heard no cries of objection.
A thing did things to stuff.